“It’s not my fault that the world is not keeping up with me…”

In second grade, I was diagnosed with “hyperactivity” (now called ADHD) at Boston’s Children Hospital. I was on Ritalin for the next five years and I saw a child counselor from grade 2 through grade 6. But that didn’t stop me from having difficulty with social skills and learning. I hated school and had difficulty at home. I was labeled the “difficult child” in my family which affected my self-esteem.

As a teacher, I worked well with kids with ADHD. Each child was a “mini-me” so I could relate to their struggle and gave them the encouragement I never received in school.

Parents of ADHD kids today have it easier than my parents did. More is understood about Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder and Ritalin is no longer the only medication or treatment prescribed. Teachers today have better training on how to work with these kids and how to provide the accommodations needed. My teachers of yesterday put me in the corner or scolded me daily.

Even though ADHD in children is more widely understood and treatment has been improved, a child with ADHD still faces challenges in school and in social or familial relationships. Parents of ADHD kids are challenged by leaning to parent their child differently because their child is “wired” differently. Parents have to have a great amount of patience and understanding, which isn’t always easy during an emotional, destructive tantrum.

When I was earning my Master’s Degree in Education, I learned that ADHD has three common characteristics: inattention, hyperactivity and impulsiveness. I learned that kids with ADHD can attend well if the activity is something they enjoy, but if the task is considered boring or difficult, the child won’t focus well.

ADD/ADHD in Children: Signs and Symptoms of Attention Deficit Disorder in Kids is a great article on this topic. The authors: Melinda Smith, M.A. and Robert Segal, M.A. list the symptoms and signs, information on the medication to treat ADHD, and myths and facts about the disorder. They also provide helpful links that have parenting tips and tips for school. (To read more…)

What I loved about this article is that they mentioned positive attributes for children with ADHD. All too often, kids with ADHD only receive negative feedback from adults (due to emotional outbursts and impulsive behavior). It’s extremely important to remind these kids that they have talent and gifts!

The authors write in their article:

“In addition to the challenges, there are also positive traits associated with people who have attention deficit disorder:

• Creativity-Children who have ADD/ ADHD can be marvelously creative and imaginative. The child who daydreams and has ten different thoughts at once can become a master problem-solver, a fountain of ideas, or an inventive artist. Children with ADD/ADHD may be easily distracted, but sometimes they notice what others don’t see.”

Other traits listed were: flexibility, enthusiasm, spontaneity, energy and drive. They also state that these kids are “intellectually or artistically gifted.”

If you’re a parent of a child with ADHD, you understand how family life can be disrupted by the child’s behavior and the affect the behavior has on the child’s siblings. The link provided to the article, ADD/ADHD Parenting Tips: Helping Children with Attention Deficit Disorder is a must read!

It provides great parenting tips and information on how to use rewards and consequences. (To read more…)

Pablo Casals, the Spanish cellist and conductor, once said:

“The child must know that he is a miracle, that since the beginning of the world there hasn’t been, and until the end of the world there will not be, another child like him.”

Take it from a former child with ADHD; Parents, please celebrate your child’s uniqueness and let your child know every day that he’s loved.

I didn’t get that message growing up so I feel cheated. I should remember childhood as a magical, wonderful time, but my memories involve punishments and scolding, sitting in the corner at school and my mother asking me “Why can’t you be like your sister?”

ADHD is hard on parents and their siblings but it’s hard on the child who has it too. With love and patience, the child will grow up believing he is a “miracle”—just like Pablo said.

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