C.K. Kelly Martin’s book, I Know It’s Over, powerfully illustrates first love and how great a loss it can be for a teenager. Readers are moved by the story because everyone can relate to Nick, the main character. Who can forget their first love?  Who doesn’t remember their first heartbreak?

When you’re the parent of a jilted teenager, you experience his pain. You’re affected by his sadness and no matter how hard you try; you can’t get him to move on. He doesn’t want to talk to you about it.

What can you do to help your teen?

There’s a great article found in the Family section on eHow’s site. How to Help a Teen Mend a Broken Heart  provides the parent with eight suggestions; things to do to help the teen move through his pain. From helping them re-focus to just being there, the article reminds parents that if they got through it, their teen will too. Patience is needed. (To read more…)

Heart break isn’t always caused by a romantic relationship ending. Many teenagers show signs of depression after their parent divorces; after losing a friendship; after relocating to a new city; after the death of a grandparent; or after experiencing domestic violence. Illness, change, or any perceived loss can affect a teenager’s mental health.

HelpGuide.org is a non-profit resource which provides excellent articles on coping with grief and loss, among other topics. Bring Your Life Into Balance: HelpGuide’s Free Stress-Busting, Mood-Boosting Mindfulness Toolkit is an exceptional article. It provides a toolkit which includes articles, videos, worksheets and mindful meditation and a step- by- step- guide that teaches you how to use the program.

Jeanne Segal, Ph.D., with Melinda Smith, M.A. and Lawrence Robinson report in their article:

“This toolkit goes beyond coping and traditional self-help to repair your nervous system’s ability to remain in balance so you can experience being both calm and focused throughout the day. It’s designed to teach you skills that, when practiced regularly, can actually change your brain in ways that will make you feel more confident, resilient, and in control.”

This toolkit is beneficial to teens and their parents. It builds emotional intelligence, exercises the brain to bring about positive change, and will help you feel better.

And when all else fails, contact your teen’s doctor. He may be able to refer you to a therapist who has experience in helping teens cope with grief.

David Hare, the playwright and film director, said it best: “Some people carry their heart in their head and some carry their head in their heart. The trick is to keep them apart yet working together.”

Heartbreak and loss is a fact of life. We all experience it for one reason or another. Parents and their teens have the power to move through the pain if they are willing to learn more about the heart-brain connection.

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