Mark Harris – Find Your Wings

From the album The Line Between The Two

“I pray that God would fill your heart with dreams

And that faith gives you the courage

To dare to do great things

I’m here for you whatever this life brings

So let my love give you roots

And help you find your wings”

“Childhood smells of perfume and brownies.” ~David Leavitt

If you haven’t watched the video above and you’re a parent; be sure you watch it to the very end. Helping our kids find their wings and watching them grow up  is a gift we sometimes take for granted. But in the blink of an eye, our “baby”, forever our “baby”,  is standing 6 feet, 3 inches tall and graduating from college.

Childhood is a time we all reminisce about. We laugh at memories or regret that a “magical” part was somehow left out or missing. I used to love the line in Peter Pan, when Peter said ” I don’t want to grow up.”  I think we all have moments like that. But for some children, life forces them to learn too early how unfair and unkind life can be. As parents raising kids with a mental illness or disability, it’s our duty to remind them daily that they are loved, they are beautiful, smart and talented, and they should shoot high and reach for the stars. 

Childhood is supposed to be a happy and special time where days are filled with play and laughter. That isn’t the case for so many children who are struggling with mental illness.

When my son was 10 he was diagnosed with bipolar disorder and hospitalized. It broke my heart and I couldn’t understand why it was happening to him; why us? When the initial shock and sorrow dissipated, I had an insatiable craving to learn as much as I could about the disorder, to help me understand and possibly parent him better. I purchased all the informative textbooks and read novels by authors who had the disorder, like Hemingway. In a strange way, I felt comfort learning many successful and famous people lived with the disorder and seemed to have a great life. I studied the symptoms, the medications and side effects and read the stories written by other parents and my mind would swim at night with all the information I was gathering.

After the initial diagnosis, the months spent searching for the right combination of medications to stabilize my son seemed to go on forever. One winter afternoon stands out in my mind as a particularly bad day. My son’s aggression was problematic and when he cycled to a hyper stage, I hate to admit it but I would feel frightened by him. I wasn’t sure how I could settle him down or prevent him from becoming destructive or violent. I placed a call to my son’s doctor and he increased the dosage of his medication. His aggressive and agitated behavior settled but it was not what I had bargained for. My son, without my knowing it, was prescribed an adult dosage of Haldol. The result was it put him in a trance like state which alarmed and frightened me too.

I naively assumed that because the gentleman had the sir name of Dr, placed before his last name, that he was incapable of making mistakes. I trusted him blindly. Seeing my son in a zombie state due to the high dose he was given made me realize; when it comes to medication; it’s like French cooking; a little of this, a little of that and eventually through trial and error the right mix will be found. Just like parenting; it’s sometimes trial and error. The waiting for it to work is the hardest part.

So after a horrible day of placing phone calls to my son’s doctor and worrying about my son’s side effects, I lied in bed that night and cried. I kept thinking about my son and wondered what kind of a future he could have if he had to deal with this terrible illness.

Now when I remember that night, I realize that despite all my reading and research, I hadn’t learned much at all. It is living through it you learn and understand. I don’t want to criticize myself for having those initial fears. I understand why I had them. But I’m glad that I know now his illness isn’t something to fear and a mental illness does not equate failure or indicate an absence of having a full, rewarding and happy life. But I had to learn that through time and the daily trials we were handed.

Today, I’m highlighting a woman who had Bipolar Disorder, in a time when it wasn’t understood. She was able to contribute her creative power and genius to the literary world, despite her struggle with mental illness. To learn about her accomplishments and to realize her trials, back in time when mental illness wasn’t discussed, but considered a family “secret” that caused shame; makes me admire her resilience and strength even more. I hope you will take the time to read my article on this great lady and become inspired by understanding that although mental illness challenges a person, it does not define who you are or your destiny. Some of the greatest leaders, inventors and artists suffered from mental illness and they are remembered today as icons; like Abraham Lincoln and Florence Nightingale. There seems to be a connection between creative power, strong intellect and this illness.

One literary talent, although controversial, illustrates this creativity. Virginia Woolf would have benefited from the medical advances of today and her life may not have been so tragic. Despite her periods of suffering, she left her mark in literature and is still revered today for her talent and wit.

Here’s the link to Virginia Woolf, the English novelist and feminist who contributed significantly to literature.

Virginia Woolf; One Creative Power

Copyright secured by Digiprove © 2010