“The world is a stage, but the play is badly cast.”~ Oscar Wilde

Got good news today. Picked up some writing jobs and  it even looks promising, cross your fingers. This woman found me on Guru, had applied for a job with her to write articles. Turns out it will be more. Her site will launch in two weeks, involves some big players too. They’ll even be marketing on Oprah, Ellen, and The Today Show. The unbelievable part is she wants me to work as an editor, blogger, writer. She’s also talking to me tomorrow about ghost writing  a series of children books for her too.

Did I just hit the winning scratch ticket? I was high as a kite getting off the phone. Clicked my red sparkly shoes like Dorothy and said out loud “There’s no place like home.”  Felt like my karma might really be changing.  And I wanted to celebrate. Maybe have my new years early–out with the worst year of my life and in with new beginnings, new opportunities, new possibilities, new hope.  Follow the yellow brick bend in the road, pack Toto with the kids and we’re leaving Kansas.

Yep, put the past behind me. Boy was I in a great mood.

I had no idea the twister was heading straight for me… …

in the shape of a 6 ft 2 man.

My boyfriend.

Yep, he’s the twister…   …and no flying monkeys that swooped in to take him away….

should talk to scarecrow about fixing that…

So you’re curious.? Okay, I’ll dish.

ACT I

So the “big night” : Being on a beer budget, I planned pizza, a movie and my new bow to come over. Simple, easy, blue sky all around…You would think. When the day was  giving me new hope who would think he’d be the one to rain on my parade. But he did.

ACT II

I guess it started when he noticed the collection calls and I unplugged the phone. He asked “How do you put up with that?”  I shrugged my shoulders to brush it off, smiled a wise guy smile and held up the phone cord I had just pulled out of the wall.  My best magic trick ever and it only made him smirk. He wouldn’t even give me a real smile.

ACT III

Dinner was fine, girls were good, but they ended up doing their own thing. He noticed they didn’t want to watch the movie with us. I figured, no big deal, they are becoming teenagers. No good movies were on, so we just started to talk. Wish we had found a movie.

INTERMISSION

Sorry, no popcorn or drinks will be served…Remember I’m unemployed and can’t afford it.

ACT IV

Don’t know how he managed to do it, but within 5 minutes, he  pointed out how my brothers and sisters didn’t call me over Christmas, and “why don’t they give a damn about you.”

Blunder two:

” …girls didn’t seem talkative or did they like their gifts, didn’t mention the Xmas gifts he got them”

Blunder three:

He learned my computer was still out of ink. He knows I haven’t bought it, cuz it is a want, and not a need now, with my unemployed status. If I could collect unemployment things would be different, but with the little I make tutoring, while I struggle to find work, I’d rather feed my kids with the money.

Blunder 4:

This is the part where he sticks his foot in his mouth- He insisted he should buy ink for me, insisted, wouldn’t leave it alone, wouldn’t let it rest and then …

TWISTER HITS!

…. dust storm was born.

FALLING ACTION:

I was honest. Yep. You want more? But that’s it…. I was honest. I told him what I was thinking. No speech bubble. I just laid the cards out on the table.

THE HEROINE”S SPEECH TO THE EVIL 6 ft VILLAIN ( Don’t be fooled, this character is another wolf in  sheep clothing, or if you live in MA and say you’re from Kansas, at least for this short diary entry, He’s  a TWISTER);

I  said :  “ All I wanted to do tonight was relax, celebrate this new job opportunity and get my mind off the fact that I’m too poor to buy ink at Staples.  I don’t want charity, I have my pride. Let’s for get about it . Two and a Half Men are on. Heh—my life is way better than Charlie Sheen’s right now (news said today the 911 call from his girlfriend accused him of pulling a knife on her. Now that’s what I call a bad day. I was having a good day. I can go with out ink. It’s a want, not a need.)

THE ENDING: (can you feel the wind dying down?)

We sat on the couch,

watched Charlie at a much happier time in his life, and we both were quiet. Then, the twister got up, said he knew I was upset and he’d be on his way. I didn’t stop him. I was ready for Aunty Ems house to land. But do you want to hear the most annoying part of the whole night?

His parting message:

“Sorry, you just have a lot of stuff going on right now.” The evil villain spins one last time and moves out the door. Storms over. LET”S TALK  NOW AS THE LIGHTS GO ON, AFTER THE APPLAUSE:

I say to you, the third party: Stuff? Stuff? Define stuff. Do you mean my kids, being out of work, worried if I’ll lose my house, the collectors calls, my girls acting like self absorbed tweens? ….Did he mean that stuff? I don’t need anybody reminding me that  I have “stuff” right now.  Why does a 52 year old man think he is too good to spend a night  on the couch watching Two and a Half Men while sipping ice tea 6 inches away from a lovely woman with stuff?

Can you answer that one for me? (You remain quiet, because you are my diary)

I continue to vent:

He’s like the other 50 year old divorced guy, who I wasted all of last year with. When we broke up,  he told his grown up daughter, who still loves me, that I was a “Great girl, but alot going on…”

What?

They have grown kids, a job, live alone, no “Stuff” . Too old,  don’t want any one else’s stuff. Well for the record, I like my stuff. It’s mine and I have no plans to share it with anyone. Why do they flatter themselves?

Don’t they see my blue blinking light?

I am a light house.

I stand alone.

So don’t assume Grampy, my stuff will soon be spilling into your mug of hot coffee, because I don’t want to share it with you . Nope. It’s all mine. You can’t have it. Quit worrying that some how it will infect you. Men. Click. Just put Charlie off the tube. (Poor ol’ Charlie) Next, I’ m gonna put the twister in the past, go to bed and get a good night sleep. Alone. Just like a light house. The way I like it.

Until tomorrow  dear friend….

“Life is the art of drawing without an eraser.”

John W. Gardner

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